i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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