he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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