weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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