Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
