We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
