just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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