Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
