Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
