Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
