1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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