3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you inspire me to be a worse person
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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