you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Still dying that you shit outside
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
