There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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