Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
