yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
