maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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