I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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