This is not my ceiling
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
