I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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