Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
