Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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