He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
