the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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