I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize