you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All the doctor said was why
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize