I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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