wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize