So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize