No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
