I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
