Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I want to make a zoo with you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
