i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize