guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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