that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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