I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize