Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
