You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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