i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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