that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
