whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
