You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize