his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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