Screwed.edu
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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