well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
