They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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