Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
