I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
