do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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