You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
