I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
