we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
