I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
