Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
