Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
