this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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