i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
