You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
