Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
