you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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