Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
