I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
