at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
