I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
