Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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